i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
