i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
