how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
