I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
