READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
