people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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