It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
