remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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