Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
