Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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