K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
