that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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