I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
