If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
