Hey man sorry I got all grabby
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
