oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize