i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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