one two three fourrrrnication!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We need a shit load of segways right now
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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