Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
