So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize