Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
