Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
