I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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