They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize