He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
