woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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