I am puke
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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