..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
