did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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