garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize