a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
