bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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