i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do vagina's smell?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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