I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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