Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
