Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
and you fell through a lawn chair
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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