that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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