Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
