That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
