She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
