So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
