just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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