So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
