He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
