Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
