Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
