just survived the first fart of the relationship.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
