The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
