think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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