No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
