Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
