So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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