i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
