So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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