Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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