Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
