Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
