he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize