Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Non-Jews are for practice
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
