would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
