meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
3 2 1 whiskey
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
