If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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