i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
