i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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