My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
