Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
