I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
