we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
