We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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