honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
