why didn't you poke me back
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
