a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize