We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
