it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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