I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
