As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
