dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Drunk is not a location!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
