Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
