i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
